Yesterday I did the Gatliff 50km,. I had heard epic tales of mud, rain, cows and hours and hours of following descriptive directions. I have done three other LDWA events this year, I like their informality, friendliness and the chance to get some easy miles in with good company. The ' lunch' stops are also pretty awesome, hot soup, sandwiches, pies, cake. I think I consume more calories than I burn. It didn't disappoint. I set off on my own and was happy running at my own pace, following directions. I was pretty tired from a big week of training plus one child with chicken pox, so was quite relishing being in my own company, knee deep in mud. I was making good progress till I hit Ashdown Forest, here I met some nice guys from Norfolk and we wandered back and forth a bit trying to find some heather or bush to turn right at. We then. of course, fitted the description to our location and off we trotted. After about ten minutes, we realised we had gone wrong, but we weren't sure about the way back either. So about 25 minutes later, 2 car parks later and a lots of hilarious conversations with dog owners we found the check point. Here the walkers shook their heads and plastic cups at our idiocy, all fun though. I cracked on and enjoyed the rest of the day with only a few minor mistakes (ahem!). My legs held up well and though they were struggling with stiles at the end (I reckon there were over 1,000) I was pleased with how used I am getting to running on sore legs and it is phasing me less knowing that once they really start to hurt, it doesnt get much worse so you might as well crack on and stop moaning! In total I did 35 miles, about 56km which I think was what a lot of people recorded, apart from the guy who wrote the instructions who always seemed to be at every check point munching on a mars bar/milky way and looking suitably smug.
That's my last 'event' now till Country to Capital in January. I have a busy few weeks ahead, with end of term, kids nativity plays, Christmas fairs and coaching sessions. One of the guys I ran with commented on how the hell I fit in all my training and kids and that is down to two things. Determination and my husband. Firstly I really, really want to be the best I can be at ultra running, and it doesn't come easy. I have to get up and go out in the pitch black day in, day out, I only have a few slots I can run in, so however much sleep I have had, if I want to train I cant faff about I have to get out and get on with it. When my husband comes home I often have to be waiting on the doorstep to head out, exchanging quick instructions about tea or washing to go out and I am off. The minute I am out the door though 9 times out of 10 I am focused on the session and wouldn't want to be anywhere else, even when its mile reps. Secondly my husband plays a huge part in the amount of training and racing I can do, in fact he positively encourages it. Some may think he wants me out of the house, so him and the kids can eat bacon sandwiches and watch the rugby, but I think he sees what a huge amount of enjoyment and satisfaction I get from running. I know I am blessed with the support I get, yesterday I got home to a clean house, happy kids, a lasagna in the oven and then he took the kids to sweep up the leaves (I know our kids are very lucky) whilst I had a shower and 15minutes power kip. So here's to you husband and determination, please carry on working so well together over the next few weeks and lets see what we can deliver on that canal post 20 miles in January.
Monday, 25 November 2013
Sunday, 17 November 2013
Mud, shoes, kids and cake
Four words to some up my week; Mud, shoes, kids and cake.
I have been on a mission to get into my winter training and get some consistent quality sessions banked. I have cut back on the cough mixture and my secret delvings into the kids calpol supply is lessening. Last weekend I did a coaching session for my running club then headed into the big smoke to get fitted and checked by Profeet (http://www.profeet.co.uk). Ive always had slightly dodgy feet; the balls of my feet sometimes burn like hell and the blisters and lost toe nails have mounted up over the season. Lots of runners are super proud of their trashed feet after races and see it as a mark of honour, I see it as a poor fitting shoe/sock or a specific weakness in bio mechanics. I was so looking forward to getting everything checked,. I was all ready to to be offered orthotics, but I am personally passionate about strengthening my body first rather than sticking in an insole or wearing a highly supportive shoe. I couldn't have been more wrong.
Rich Felton, who is passionate about feet (well I think its more the trainers he really likes, but he didn't mind man handling my sweaty claws) spent a long time checking my feet, analysing my gait and then going through every shoe in the shop till we found ones that matched my natural foot strike. When you are going to put miles and miles of training in plus race over miles and miles of varied terrain, spending a bit of money getting your feet and trainers checked is priceless. To me, as well, its one more bolt in my armour, I know my feet are strong, I know my foot strike is strong, my trainers fit and so mentally its another tick in the box to get training. And so get training I have.
Why, I thought, do my legs feel like jelly on my recovery run on Wednesday after just 4 days of what I would see as quality training. Of course, since August I have done three ultras and three marathons, so all the recovery and tapering has meant I haven't actually done a consistent training load for months. I am loving getting back into training, fitting it into my life and feeling the burn of getting the speed back into my legs. Sweat pouring into my eyeballs, legs mashed and the inability to take off my sports bra after a session all mean things are going in the right direction.
This week I have concentrated on making every session count, plus eating like a champion and trying to be active for my kids - the temptation to stick on Cbeebies when I am knackered and just want to lie down has to be fought, both hubby and I are agreed that TV has its place, but only for very limited time per day so I have tried really hard not to moan every time a wooden trolley is cannoned into the back of my legs and to think of things we can do sitting down. Cake and biscuit making being one of them-win, win situation...though some of he ingredients are a little questionable.
Its now Sunday night and for the first time in a while I have done a full week of real quality training, 800ms, 2000ms, tempo runs, long hard double runs and I am absolutely done in. Tomorrow is a rest day and I need it. I know I am grumpy with the family, muttering every time I have to get up to provide more drinks, snacks, nappy changes. I often feel guilty for running as I know it has a real detriment to my energy levels for my family, but I also know how much it gives me as a person. Confidence, strength, power and most importantly self esteem.
So I continue to try and get the right balance between family, work and running. Something always gives, but I am going to try and keep the balance for as long as possible, as hubby says, happy running wife is happy kids and life!
 |
| Shiny new Mammuts |
 |
| Stinky Muddy Mammuts |
Rich Felton, who is passionate about feet (well I think its more the trainers he really likes, but he didn't mind man handling my sweaty claws) spent a long time checking my feet, analysing my gait and then going through every shoe in the shop till we found ones that matched my natural foot strike. When you are going to put miles and miles of training in plus race over miles and miles of varied terrain, spending a bit of money getting your feet and trainers checked is priceless. To me, as well, its one more bolt in my armour, I know my feet are strong, I know my foot strike is strong, my trainers fit and so mentally its another tick in the box to get training. And so get training I have.
Why, I thought, do my legs feel like jelly on my recovery run on Wednesday after just 4 days of what I would see as quality training. Of course, since August I have done three ultras and three marathons, so all the recovery and tapering has meant I haven't actually done a consistent training load for months. I am loving getting back into training, fitting it into my life and feeling the burn of getting the speed back into my legs. Sweat pouring into my eyeballs, legs mashed and the inability to take off my sports bra after a session all mean things are going in the right direction.
 |
| I follow a strictly low carb diet |
This week I have concentrated on making every session count, plus eating like a champion and trying to be active for my kids - the temptation to stick on Cbeebies when I am knackered and just want to lie down has to be fought, both hubby and I are agreed that TV has its place, but only for very limited time per day so I have tried really hard not to moan every time a wooden trolley is cannoned into the back of my legs and to think of things we can do sitting down. Cake and biscuit making being one of them-win, win situation...though some of he ingredients are a little questionable. Its now Sunday night and for the first time in a while I have done a full week of real quality training, 800ms, 2000ms, tempo runs, long hard double runs and I am absolutely done in. Tomorrow is a rest day and I need it. I know I am grumpy with the family, muttering every time I have to get up to provide more drinks, snacks, nappy changes. I often feel guilty for running as I know it has a real detriment to my energy levels for my family, but I also know how much it gives me as a person. Confidence, strength, power and most importantly self esteem.
So I continue to try and get the right balance between family, work and running. Something always gives, but I am going to try and keep the balance for as long as possible, as hubby says, happy running wife is happy kids and life!
Friday, 8 November 2013
Learning the hard way...
I had a great week off running after Beachy Head, though we were up in the highlands I didn't have the faintest desire to put on my trainers and do anything more physical than stroll to the cafe for scone and tea. The kids were both ill (of course, its half term) and with the clocks going back too we had some very early starts and so I was pretty exhausted after 5 days of 'holidaying' or as I say to my Mum, same S**T, different sink. We decided to come home a day early, which I was more than happy about and hubby and I took it in turns to drive through the night. As we were home early I offered to run in my village running clubs relays races, I love a bit of cross country and even better in a relay format where I can really unleash my competitive elbows. I had a bit of a sore throat and cough, but thought a little trot wouldn't do me much harm. Two legs later of 2.5miles in ankle deep mud and even though I ran them 'steady,' the pouring rain, the getting cold then starting running again meant the next day I found myself unable to breath without pain as the cold air hit my lungs. So, what did I do? Did I rest up and let me body recover as I would have told any of my athletes and pupils? Did I drink plenty of fluids and lie around the house in my pyjamas? No, I went back to work, I cleaned the house, I started my winter training programme even though I felt I was breathing through a straw and by Wednesday I was a bedraggled, heaving wreck. I got on the treadmill to start my speed session (I know you want to hit me right now, I am irritating myself) and the minute I pressed start I knew this was not the thing to do, even me, the most competitive person, possibly in the world, knew that I should be resting now, so I pulled the plug and rang up James at Centurion Running for some sound advice and a strict talking to!
Coaching yourself, mainly training by myself and also being by myself most of the time (I only count my kids as company when they are not gribbling, whining or demanding things, which I think is about 5% of the time) means I quite often lose perspective on the 'real' world. Looking on twitter and facebook you can panic yourself into thinking that people are constantly setting world records in training, plus holding down full time jobs, running the world and bringing up little Alfie and Cecilia to be the next poet laureate and Nobel prize winner. I question my own training, my parenting, my life, my decisions and why, based on something someone else has written that is probably only put out there because they are insecure about their own training, relationship, job or kids.
So I backed off. I had a good chat with James about my winter training, he talked me out of increasing any volume, which I was secretly so relieved about as I think I am limit of what I can do with the kids and life and instead we came up with some ideas to get me faster which I am looking forward to trying out. Speaking to someone who has been there, done that is sometimes all you need to change your thinking in one minute. I went from being a frazzled wreck to being confident that it didn't matter if I needed the next two weeks off to get healthy I was still going to come back stronger.
Of course, the minute I let myself sit down and actually be ill I embraced the fluey bug with a raging temperature, a 50 -a -day chest and the need to watch Loose Women in my dressing gown. Kids are relentless and they don't care if you have a limb hanging off as long as their cereal is in their bowl at 7am prompt and Postman Pat is recorded for after Nursery melt downs, but I let some of my parenting slip, gave them ready meals, gave them some toys I was saving till Christmas and let them run a muck whilst I lay on the floor, in said, now rather grubby, dressing gown.
I am feeling much better now, normally I would be thinking about going for a short run maybe tonight, maybe in the morning. But I am determined not to put the trainers on again till I am ready to actually to do a run that is 'worthwhile' rather than just a way to see if my lungs still are the size of a pea. Why I don't have confidence in my own ability I don't know, but I do know that I have learnt the hard way this week and from now on, I'm not stepping out of my door in my trainers unless the run is going to be beneficial to both me and the kids. We all make mistakes, but I seem to make the same ones again and again, so I'm putting this one out there in the hope I will listen to my own advice and become a more sensible and confident runner. Time will tell.
Coaching yourself, mainly training by myself and also being by myself most of the time (I only count my kids as company when they are not gribbling, whining or demanding things, which I think is about 5% of the time) means I quite often lose perspective on the 'real' world. Looking on twitter and facebook you can panic yourself into thinking that people are constantly setting world records in training, plus holding down full time jobs, running the world and bringing up little Alfie and Cecilia to be the next poet laureate and Nobel prize winner. I question my own training, my parenting, my life, my decisions and why, based on something someone else has written that is probably only put out there because they are insecure about their own training, relationship, job or kids.
So I backed off. I had a good chat with James about my winter training, he talked me out of increasing any volume, which I was secretly so relieved about as I think I am limit of what I can do with the kids and life and instead we came up with some ideas to get me faster which I am looking forward to trying out. Speaking to someone who has been there, done that is sometimes all you need to change your thinking in one minute. I went from being a frazzled wreck to being confident that it didn't matter if I needed the next two weeks off to get healthy I was still going to come back stronger.
Of course, the minute I let myself sit down and actually be ill I embraced the fluey bug with a raging temperature, a 50 -a -day chest and the need to watch Loose Women in my dressing gown. Kids are relentless and they don't care if you have a limb hanging off as long as their cereal is in their bowl at 7am prompt and Postman Pat is recorded for after Nursery melt downs, but I let some of my parenting slip, gave them ready meals, gave them some toys I was saving till Christmas and let them run a muck whilst I lay on the floor, in said, now rather grubby, dressing gown.
I am feeling much better now, normally I would be thinking about going for a short run maybe tonight, maybe in the morning. But I am determined not to put the trainers on again till I am ready to actually to do a run that is 'worthwhile' rather than just a way to see if my lungs still are the size of a pea. Why I don't have confidence in my own ability I don't know, but I do know that I have learnt the hard way this week and from now on, I'm not stepping out of my door in my trainers unless the run is going to be beneficial to both me and the kids. We all make mistakes, but I seem to make the same ones again and again, so I'm putting this one out there in the hope I will listen to my own advice and become a more sensible and confident runner. Time will tell.
Monday, 28 October 2013
Over and Out 2013
I am sitting with my feet up looking at the Scottish hills. We have been here 24 hrs and I haven't been up the mountains yet. I did manage a walk up the hill to see husband coming back from his run, but one ankle is so swollen I cant bend it and my quads still feel like someone has bashed them with a mallet.
I ran Beachy Head Marathon on Saturday. After the Downslink 38 miles at the beginning of October I had a very easy week and then picked up training a bit before trying a mini taper. To be honest I never got my legs going again and didn't feel fresh however much I rested, ate, didn't rest ,tried to run etc. The truth is I think I should have called it a day for this year after Downslink, but I love the Beachy Head course and lots of my club friends were doing it, so I thought Ill give it a go. The lack of rest I get from having two very small children really showed as I struggled to get going again. Getting up sometimes 4 times a night, plus 5am wake ups means every day I am exhausted and trying to recover from one ultra to a super hard marathon in 3 weeks was going to be a tough call. Of course, I gave myself a tough time, come on body, legs, mind, get moving why aren't you working yet? I know how important sleep is to recovery and I know now for 2014 that if I want to race as hard as I want to race I will only have a handful of super human efforts in me (not the 15+ I have done this year!)
Of course if you toe a start line people have expectations of you, as I do of myself and I knew if I had a 'bad' day it would be public knowledge and as a result some people were commiserating with me at the finish. However I was pretty chuffed with what I achieved out there. My legs and heart were weary, but I knew I could still pull out a semi decent performance and to me the fight against my tired self was almost more important than the battle to win the race.
I led for about the first 10 miles occasionally swapping the lead with the eventual winner, she was kicking my butt up the hills which showed how tired I was, but I have been working on my down hill speed (thanks Bob!) and was able to catch up a sometimes 500m deficit by pacing it down hill. However when we met the hill out of Alvediston my legs just couldn't move. They felt like I had run 30 miles not 10 and I lost view of the leader and with it my motivation to keep up that pace. I walked for a little while and gathered my thoughts. Unfortunately my gels had fallen out of my shorts and so I was pleased to meet my super supporters who handed me a gel and drink . After the long climb up onto the South Downs there is a nice steady section and I tried to get the legs going. Some wonderful support and I covered the next 5 miles with relatively little effort, resigned that this was going to be the best I could do today. Dropping into the aid station I heard the crowd cheering third lady behind me. Oh crap I wasn't prepared to give up my 2nd place, my head was willing to go,but my legs were just refusing to join the party. She overtook me up the steep climb and I grunted some encouragement. We made the steep hike up past the piper ready to drop down to the start of the 7 sisters. Here I knew my super team mate Paul would be waiting to kick me up the butt. I knew he would be disappointed I wasn't leading and even worse I was now in 3rd. But, as only a fellow Centurion team mate can do, he ran alongside me, passed me some gel shots and gave me the following words which got me over the last toughest 6, but most glorious miles of my 2013 running season. 'The leader is walking up the hills, DO NOT WALK, run up the hills, every single hill, run up and then hammer it down, you can DO IT.' I struggled up the last incline before the start of sisters, not wanting him to see me walking and then pulled alongside the girl in 2nd as we started the climb. 'Come on I said, lets run these together.' She started running, but soon dropped to a walk, the temptation to start walking too, knowing I could was so strong, but Paul's words echoed in my mind and I dug in, deeper than I have done really this year, I really wanted that 2nd place, the competitor in me is so strong. I knew my time wasn't going to reflect my ability, but I ran everyone of those bloody sisters; I nailed the down hills and passed 6 men over the last 5 miles. Pulling down into Eastbourne I was disappointed not to win, but in my head I knew that I didn't deserve to win. My sister and her new husband, as a surprise, had turned up to see my finish and that made my day! My mum and dad know nothing of my running and my sisters have never seen me run before so it was quite emotional for them to come and give me a cheer!
On reflection I could easily have DNS this race, but I am really pleased I ran. It is the first time this year I have been under pressure and really dug in on knackered legs. I really lack confidence in my ability when things get tough and I know when I am racing 8 plus hours next year that this sort of experience will be invaluable, when I thought nothing could be salvaged from my day I found that I could ask my body for more and it would respond - eventually!
Super thanks to all the supporters out there, sorry it wasn't quite the result you were hoping for, but I wont apologise for putting myself on the line and leaving a little part of my soul out on the seven sisters-till next year dear girls.
Of course if you toe a start line people have expectations of you, as I do of myself and I knew if I had a 'bad' day it would be public knowledge and as a result some people were commiserating with me at the finish. However I was pretty chuffed with what I achieved out there. My legs and heart were weary, but I knew I could still pull out a semi decent performance and to me the fight against my tired self was almost more important than the battle to win the race.
I led for about the first 10 miles occasionally swapping the lead with the eventual winner, she was kicking my butt up the hills which showed how tired I was, but I have been working on my down hill speed (thanks Bob!) and was able to catch up a sometimes 500m deficit by pacing it down hill. However when we met the hill out of Alvediston my legs just couldn't move. They felt like I had run 30 miles not 10 and I lost view of the leader and with it my motivation to keep up that pace. I walked for a little while and gathered my thoughts. Unfortunately my gels had fallen out of my shorts and so I was pleased to meet my super supporters who handed me a gel and drink . After the long climb up onto the South Downs there is a nice steady section and I tried to get the legs going. Some wonderful support and I covered the next 5 miles with relatively little effort, resigned that this was going to be the best I could do today. Dropping into the aid station I heard the crowd cheering third lady behind me. Oh crap I wasn't prepared to give up my 2nd place, my head was willing to go,but my legs were just refusing to join the party. She overtook me up the steep climb and I grunted some encouragement. We made the steep hike up past the piper ready to drop down to the start of the 7 sisters. Here I knew my super team mate Paul would be waiting to kick me up the butt. I knew he would be disappointed I wasn't leading and even worse I was now in 3rd. But, as only a fellow Centurion team mate can do, he ran alongside me, passed me some gel shots and gave me the following words which got me over the last toughest 6, but most glorious miles of my 2013 running season. 'The leader is walking up the hills, DO NOT WALK, run up the hills, every single hill, run up and then hammer it down, you can DO IT.' I struggled up the last incline before the start of sisters, not wanting him to see me walking and then pulled alongside the girl in 2nd as we started the climb. 'Come on I said, lets run these together.' She started running, but soon dropped to a walk, the temptation to start walking too, knowing I could was so strong, but Paul's words echoed in my mind and I dug in, deeper than I have done really this year, I really wanted that 2nd place, the competitor in me is so strong. I knew my time wasn't going to reflect my ability, but I ran everyone of those bloody sisters; I nailed the down hills and passed 6 men over the last 5 miles. Pulling down into Eastbourne I was disappointed not to win, but in my head I knew that I didn't deserve to win. My sister and her new husband, as a surprise, had turned up to see my finish and that made my day! My mum and dad know nothing of my running and my sisters have never seen me run before so it was quite emotional for them to come and give me a cheer! 
Super thanks to all the supporters out there, sorry it wasn't quite the result you were hoping for, but I wont apologise for putting myself on the line and leaving a little part of my soul out on the seven sisters-till next year dear girls.
Wednesday, 9 October 2013
Centurion Ultra Team and Downslink Race
I am absolutely thrilled, stunned and a little bit embarrassed to have been asked to join Centurion Ultra Team http://www.centurionrunning.com/team-cr/. Scroll down on the web page and you can read my very lowly profile and race results. I am in the company of Great Britain's finest ultra runners, who also happen to be great guys, have been very supportive of me since I started running longer distances and I greatly look forward to chasing them over the Downs next year! I have a lot to live up to, but there is nothing like someone saying, 'I believe in you' to add an extra boost to training and racing. When you have had kids, given up your career, your sport, practically changed everything about your life, in many ways you have to find yourself all over again. I really do feel ultra running has given me back my identity, sense of purpose and joy of extreme pain again! I hope to do the team proud and will wear the yellow t shirt glowing with pride!
Last weekend I entered the Downslink Ultra by Sussex Trail Events. Starting at St Marthas Hill, Guildford and running down a disused railway line to Shoreham By The Sea. I felt that 38 miles was a really good distance for me at the moment. My strength, and more importantly, confidence over holding a racing pace is gradually building and I could convince myself that 38 miles is closer to a marathon distance than 50 miles, so would be less painful!
We couldn't have asked for better conditions, lovely warm Autumnal day. Most of the route is along a well walked trail, with the occasional field, road crossing, horse, small child wobbling on stabilisers or gate to break up the monotony. I had recced the last 21 miles of the route, which at the time seemed a bit pointless, but actually has shown me how knowing where you are going makes the final stages of a long run much easier mentally and physically.
Paul Navesey (the eventual winner) and I set off leading the race and the route quickly dipped sharply down hill. I couldn't see anything in the glaring sun, so took a more cautious approach than Paul who hared off, not to be seen again, or so I thought. I had planned to run a 7min 10-30 pace, which seemed easy to start with, but I knew post 30 miles it would be an effort. I am super competitive and the urge to run out hard and try and hold the pace, is a strategy I have tried and failed at. I had written all my splits down, with the aim to getting to 20 miles with having done the least damage to my legs. The route was simple, but with bright sun and a few intersecting paths, I kept having to stop and check I was on the Downslink route. There was no one in front or behind me, so I just kept hoping I was on the right path. After about 8 miles, Paul suddenly appeared behind me, looking rather sheepish! ' I went all the way back up the hill.' I think he snorted through a mouth of clifshots. 'You idiot' I replied helpfully. We trotted along for a little while together, but we were creeping into 6.30 min miles, so I forced myself to slow down and he disappeared to catch the one runner I knew was ahead.
I ticked the miles off to 21, where I had planned to meet husband and the kids. We had spent a long time planning what we would do with the kids. Its an ultra in itself, husband managing them in and out of the car, feeding them, naps, epic whining etc. So we decided we would just meet up at one point where he could refill my water and I could have a quick chat with the boys. As I went through the checkpoint, I knew the business end of the race was about to start. The trail is relentless with very little change of gradient, so I was trying to run on different sides of the path to change the camber and played, catch the cyclist, beat the horse, jump the dog, to break up the monotony. The miles from 26-30 seemed to take forever and I was growing bored of seeing the same path. I had slowed and was just about holding 7.30s, but I knew this was the hardest part and once I got into the 30 miles I would feel better both mentally and physically. I was forcing down the gels by now, hoping they would give me a little lift to the line.
Once I hit 31 miles, I started to feel strong again, I felt like I was running fast (ha ha!) and was moving smoothly. I am getting used to running with pretty mashed up legs now and yes it hurts and yes most normal people wouldn't want to spend their Sunday afternoons putting themselves through it, but there is something so raw -like about embracing pain, working with the pain. Your senses become heightened; you know many people will never feel their bodies working like this and you realise the strength of your mental fortitude.
The finish was over a toll bridge, then a series of paved slabs, which were pretty rough on battered hamstrings. I couldn't find the end and actually ended up heading into the car park, till husband appeared frantically waving down by the river. I was pretty shot at the end. I couldn't even do my normal victory run in with the kids, but just wanted to sit down and be fed tea. Fortunately the race organisers had this all in their plan and I was plied with baked beans, some Drymax socks for being first female and a lovely cup of tea and massage. Paul was already looking feeble in the corner after taking the victory by ruining himself making up for his lost time. A really impressive race for someone that ran an extra mile, though I have a sneeky suspicion, he just wanted to add in a few bonus miles to make it an even 40.
'Job done' were husbands congratulatory words to me. 'I almost rang you at mile 30.' I said, 'I needed a lift.' 'Woman, you don't need me, just get on with it and bloody finish!' I love that part of our relationship, he knows I don't want any praise from him, I don't need to be mollycoddled, knowing that he believes in me and the strength of his support for me gives me more boost than I could ever put into words. Juggling the kids, work, life, training is a proper team effort.
So I was pleased with 4.47, 3rd overall and 1st female. I felt I ran strong, but that I had lots more to give, especially in the middle of the race, but its a really positive step forward to running a super competitive 50 miler. The next day was truly horrendous, I could hardly move, every time the kids stepped on my toes or touched my quads, I would leap through the roof, but I'd do it all again tomorrow. I love the pain, I love the ultra community and I love the inner sense of satisfaction I have of a 'job done' well.
Thanks to Sussex Trail Events for a great race, next up some proper quad bashing at Beachy Head Marathon.
Last weekend I entered the Downslink Ultra by Sussex Trail Events. Starting at St Marthas Hill, Guildford and running down a disused railway line to Shoreham By The Sea. I felt that 38 miles was a really good distance for me at the moment. My strength, and more importantly, confidence over holding a racing pace is gradually building and I could convince myself that 38 miles is closer to a marathon distance than 50 miles, so would be less painful!
We couldn't have asked for better conditions, lovely warm Autumnal day. Most of the route is along a well walked trail, with the occasional field, road crossing, horse, small child wobbling on stabilisers or gate to break up the monotony. I had recced the last 21 miles of the route, which at the time seemed a bit pointless, but actually has shown me how knowing where you are going makes the final stages of a long run much easier mentally and physically.
Paul Navesey (the eventual winner) and I set off leading the race and the route quickly dipped sharply down hill. I couldn't see anything in the glaring sun, so took a more cautious approach than Paul who hared off, not to be seen again, or so I thought. I had planned to run a 7min 10-30 pace, which seemed easy to start with, but I knew post 30 miles it would be an effort. I am super competitive and the urge to run out hard and try and hold the pace, is a strategy I have tried and failed at. I had written all my splits down, with the aim to getting to 20 miles with having done the least damage to my legs. The route was simple, but with bright sun and a few intersecting paths, I kept having to stop and check I was on the Downslink route. There was no one in front or behind me, so I just kept hoping I was on the right path. After about 8 miles, Paul suddenly appeared behind me, looking rather sheepish! ' I went all the way back up the hill.' I think he snorted through a mouth of clifshots. 'You idiot' I replied helpfully. We trotted along for a little while together, but we were creeping into 6.30 min miles, so I forced myself to slow down and he disappeared to catch the one runner I knew was ahead.
I ticked the miles off to 21, where I had planned to meet husband and the kids. We had spent a long time planning what we would do with the kids. Its an ultra in itself, husband managing them in and out of the car, feeding them, naps, epic whining etc. So we decided we would just meet up at one point where he could refill my water and I could have a quick chat with the boys. As I went through the checkpoint, I knew the business end of the race was about to start. The trail is relentless with very little change of gradient, so I was trying to run on different sides of the path to change the camber and played, catch the cyclist, beat the horse, jump the dog, to break up the monotony. The miles from 26-30 seemed to take forever and I was growing bored of seeing the same path. I had slowed and was just about holding 7.30s, but I knew this was the hardest part and once I got into the 30 miles I would feel better both mentally and physically. I was forcing down the gels by now, hoping they would give me a little lift to the line.
Once I hit 31 miles, I started to feel strong again, I felt like I was running fast (ha ha!) and was moving smoothly. I am getting used to running with pretty mashed up legs now and yes it hurts and yes most normal people wouldn't want to spend their Sunday afternoons putting themselves through it, but there is something so raw -like about embracing pain, working with the pain. Your senses become heightened; you know many people will never feel their bodies working like this and you realise the strength of your mental fortitude.
The finish was over a toll bridge, then a series of paved slabs, which were pretty rough on battered hamstrings. I couldn't find the end and actually ended up heading into the car park, till husband appeared frantically waving down by the river. I was pretty shot at the end. I couldn't even do my normal victory run in with the kids, but just wanted to sit down and be fed tea. Fortunately the race organisers had this all in their plan and I was plied with baked beans, some Drymax socks for being first female and a lovely cup of tea and massage. Paul was already looking feeble in the corner after taking the victory by ruining himself making up for his lost time. A really impressive race for someone that ran an extra mile, though I have a sneeky suspicion, he just wanted to add in a few bonus miles to make it an even 40.
'Job done' were husbands congratulatory words to me. 'I almost rang you at mile 30.' I said, 'I needed a lift.' 'Woman, you don't need me, just get on with it and bloody finish!' I love that part of our relationship, he knows I don't want any praise from him, I don't need to be mollycoddled, knowing that he believes in me and the strength of his support for me gives me more boost than I could ever put into words. Juggling the kids, work, life, training is a proper team effort.
So I was pleased with 4.47, 3rd overall and 1st female. I felt I ran strong, but that I had lots more to give, especially in the middle of the race, but its a really positive step forward to running a super competitive 50 miler. The next day was truly horrendous, I could hardly move, every time the kids stepped on my toes or touched my quads, I would leap through the roof, but I'd do it all again tomorrow. I love the pain, I love the ultra community and I love the inner sense of satisfaction I have of a 'job done' well.
Thanks to Sussex Trail Events for a great race, next up some proper quad bashing at Beachy Head Marathon.
Tuesday, 17 September 2013
Back to school
 |
| Off to nursery-wait for me! |
 |
| Youngest enjoying Farnham prizes as weapons |
Anyway its so nice to be working with grown ups again and to have a few hours of teaching under my belt everyday. I remember someone in my old department who had two young children saying she loved coming into school as it was her break-pah I use to think, nothing it harder than this job, now I couldn't agree more!
Having added another dimension into our already pretty hectic lives, I am struggling to really do anything properly, constantly forgetting things, not finishing tasks, fighting the battle of laundry,cleaning and cooking add into the mix a pretty tough running schedule and last Friday I just stood in the sitting room, chaos reigning around me and had a little weep. How do people do all this?
I hate not doing everything to the best I can be, but sometimes you just cant do everything perfectly all the time, which is a very hard lesson I am still learning. Funnily enough my husband couldn't care less if the house is cleaned, meals are cooked, kids are clean, all he wants is us to be happy and healthy, he is the perfect balance to my constant need to be organised and in control!
I am trying to be realistic with what I can do right now in both life and running. Always, always my kids and husband come first, I am so lucky that my husband is so supportive with what I do and in return I have to lead by example to my kids, be an active, happy and well organised mum not a crying, exhausted wreck. I haven't quite got the balance right yet, but I'm getting there! Next up Downslink ultra and I'm prepared to give it everything Ive got.
Monday, 12 August 2013
Running with the boys - Salisbury 50km
I had this race on my, maybe if I can fit it in, race calendar. It is run by the Salisbury Fire Station and there are the options of doing 10,20,30,42 or 50km, its called the 54321 because you go over 5 rivers: Avon, Bourne, Ebble, Nadder and Wylye. Climb 4 hills: Old Sarum, King Manor, Clearbury Hill Fort and Salisbury Race Course. Visit 3 Country Estates: Clarendon, Longford and Wilton. See 2 Castles: Old Sarum and Longford (oops missed these) and 1 Cathedral.
I didn't really want to taper into the race, but have learnt that you have to respect the distance and even as a 'training' race you cant go in with completely smashed legs as otherwise you ll end up doing more damage than good and having a pretty miserable time- as I have learnt! So I did one hard session leading up to it this week and the rest pretty steady and easy miles so legs were tired, but still able to bend-always a bonus!
Up at 5.30am to get things ready before the kids were awake and make the designated number of 'jammy sandwiches' which are an essential part of an under 2s race day nutrition! My eldest wakes up so excited on race day morning, he loves getting in the car in his PJ's and getting stuck into aforementioned jammy sandwiches, in fact incorrect calculations meant all sandwiches were eaten before we had even left the driveway!
Easy registration and then back to the car to get the kids dressed and clear up mess of jammy sandwiches. It was pouring with rain so I decided not to treat Wiltshire to my crop top, but a good old vest which makes carrying gels a bit easier. I wasn't sure about the aid stations, but took the risk that I could manage with enough water from these and carrying my gels. The kids start to get a bit fractious when they realise Mum is actually running away from then, so hubby took them off to the swings, so I could stand around posing/strecthing for a few minutes before the gun. I love having the kids at the races, but it is sometimes so hard to even get a number on my vest when they are both vying to be carried or fed. Hubby and I have already decided for my key races next year to enlist the help of grandmas and grandads as its exhausting for him too trying to crew for me and cart them around the county.
I didn't bother with a warm up as thought 50km was long enough to get into my groove, but positioned myself at the front of the race so i would know where I was in the field in the first few miles. The lead men set off at a cracking pace. My flipping garmin has finally given up the ghost so I had no idea of pace or distance, but wasn't that bothered till the last few miles when I had no idea how far to go and was starting to lose the will a little bit. As we went through the first mile I asked the chap I was running next to our split, 6,05 he said, oops a bit fast, but I felt fine and thought a bit of adrenaline can count for that speed. I could see the lead man and bike about 50m ahead, with a couple of guys in between and I just let them do their own thing and tried to relax into the run.
I had two aims for this race one was to run my own race, not to worry about what others were doing and my other was to remain positive throughout. I really struggle with negative self talk, so I had two rules. My pace and only my pace was I to run and if the monkey got on my shoulder and started bleating my ear, I was to give him a good rattle then put him back in his cage.
We did a 5mile loop before joining the marathon runners onto a 26 mile circular loop around the south of Salisbury. It was a beautiful trail with a few really challenging climbs, some rough downhills which I was hopeless on and lots of trails and tracks. I tried to stick to a good honest hard pace, not enough that I was blowing, but enough that I was having to concentrate. I felt really strong up the hills and was pegging back the lead men every time we had a long climb. I went through 10 miles in 1.06ish which I felt was perhaps a tad fast, but I felt good. The temptation to crack on and take the overall lead of the race was calling to my competitive spirit, but I knew once I had done that you instantly become the hunted and mentally the race takes a new dimension. So I let the two men ahead of me fight it out and just bided my time.
After about 8 miles the lead marathon woman ploughed past me going at quite a speed. I let her go, but after a mile or so pegged her back and then we ran together for almost 8 miles. She was cracking along and I was working hard to keep up, but it felt so good to actually be 'racing' an ultra rather than just surviving. We had 2 long climbs before the turn for home over the last 8 miles. On the first she strode away from me, but on the second I felt good, maybe more confident in my ability as the race progressed. At the top I pushed on along the ridge and was left to run the last hour on my own. I knew there were still two men ahead, so I put my music on and put my head down to 'work' all the way home. It was a lovely long downhill stretch and then a long pull into Salisbury around the back roads. Unfortunately either all the markers had been removed or it was presumed people would know the way, but I didn't have a clue where to go. Fortunately the 2nd place marathon man came alongside me and I followed him through the back streets, desperately trying to keep up and not lose sight of my route to the finish! As we approached about 3 miles to go I overtook the 2nd place ultra male runner , sad that he was struggling in the closing stages, but elated that I was going to finish 2nd overall. I estimated that I went through the marathon in about 3.08 and thought a 3.45 finish was a good result, but the final two miles through the centre of Salisbury on crammed streets with little direction meant I lost a bit of time. But I wasn't bothered, I was so happy to have run so strong up to them, to have stayed positive and to see the effects of all my long hard lonely training coming to fruition.
And it was all over, apart from the then 2.5hrs to wait for the prize giving, when they put my result down in the marathon times and the nice lady questioned whether I really could have beaten all those men?! Nice lady take a look at my thighs!!
Hubby and the kids did me proud on what was a rather dull day for them. The sugar high inside the fire station after being fed a dubious number of cup cakes was something to behold and when we finally got home they (the kids, not hubby) insisted we set up a check point which they kept running past shouting 'gels' and 'water' and I got repeatably told off if I didnt clap or cheer loud enough! Now where have they learnt that from?
I didn't really want to taper into the race, but have learnt that you have to respect the distance and even as a 'training' race you cant go in with completely smashed legs as otherwise you ll end up doing more damage than good and having a pretty miserable time- as I have learnt! So I did one hard session leading up to it this week and the rest pretty steady and easy miles so legs were tired, but still able to bend-always a bonus!
Up at 5.30am to get things ready before the kids were awake and make the designated number of 'jammy sandwiches' which are an essential part of an under 2s race day nutrition! My eldest wakes up so excited on race day morning, he loves getting in the car in his PJ's and getting stuck into aforementioned jammy sandwiches, in fact incorrect calculations meant all sandwiches were eaten before we had even left the driveway!
Easy registration and then back to the car to get the kids dressed and clear up mess of jammy sandwiches. It was pouring with rain so I decided not to treat Wiltshire to my crop top, but a good old vest which makes carrying gels a bit easier. I wasn't sure about the aid stations, but took the risk that I could manage with enough water from these and carrying my gels. The kids start to get a bit fractious when they realise Mum is actually running away from then, so hubby took them off to the swings, so I could stand around posing/strecthing for a few minutes before the gun. I love having the kids at the races, but it is sometimes so hard to even get a number on my vest when they are both vying to be carried or fed. Hubby and I have already decided for my key races next year to enlist the help of grandmas and grandads as its exhausting for him too trying to crew for me and cart them around the county.
I didn't bother with a warm up as thought 50km was long enough to get into my groove, but positioned myself at the front of the race so i would know where I was in the field in the first few miles. The lead men set off at a cracking pace. My flipping garmin has finally given up the ghost so I had no idea of pace or distance, but wasn't that bothered till the last few miles when I had no idea how far to go and was starting to lose the will a little bit. As we went through the first mile I asked the chap I was running next to our split, 6,05 he said, oops a bit fast, but I felt fine and thought a bit of adrenaline can count for that speed. I could see the lead man and bike about 50m ahead, with a couple of guys in between and I just let them do their own thing and tried to relax into the run.
I had two aims for this race one was to run my own race, not to worry about what others were doing and my other was to remain positive throughout. I really struggle with negative self talk, so I had two rules. My pace and only my pace was I to run and if the monkey got on my shoulder and started bleating my ear, I was to give him a good rattle then put him back in his cage.
 |
| Eldest suitably impressed with mums achievement |
After about 8 miles the lead marathon woman ploughed past me going at quite a speed. I let her go, but after a mile or so pegged her back and then we ran together for almost 8 miles. She was cracking along and I was working hard to keep up, but it felt so good to actually be 'racing' an ultra rather than just surviving. We had 2 long climbs before the turn for home over the last 8 miles. On the first she strode away from me, but on the second I felt good, maybe more confident in my ability as the race progressed. At the top I pushed on along the ridge and was left to run the last hour on my own. I knew there were still two men ahead, so I put my music on and put my head down to 'work' all the way home. It was a lovely long downhill stretch and then a long pull into Salisbury around the back roads. Unfortunately either all the markers had been removed or it was presumed people would know the way, but I didn't have a clue where to go. Fortunately the 2nd place marathon man came alongside me and I followed him through the back streets, desperately trying to keep up and not lose sight of my route to the finish! As we approached about 3 miles to go I overtook the 2nd place ultra male runner , sad that he was struggling in the closing stages, but elated that I was going to finish 2nd overall. I estimated that I went through the marathon in about 3.08 and thought a 3.45 finish was a good result, but the final two miles through the centre of Salisbury on crammed streets with little direction meant I lost a bit of time. But I wasn't bothered, I was so happy to have run so strong up to them, to have stayed positive and to see the effects of all my long hard lonely training coming to fruition.
 |
| A cup the size of a toddler from a fireman what more could a girl ask for?! |
Hubby and the kids did me proud on what was a rather dull day for them. The sugar high inside the fire station after being fed a dubious number of cup cakes was something to behold and when we finally got home they (the kids, not hubby) insisted we set up a check point which they kept running past shouting 'gels' and 'water' and I got repeatably told off if I didnt clap or cheer loud enough! Now where have they learnt that from?
Thursday, 25 July 2013
The Fish and Chips Ultra
Another good block of training culminating in a day out running from our village to the sea...a trip of just under 50 miles along the Vanguard Way.
Busy few weeks juggling husband away and trying to keep my mileage and key sessions ticking over. Various degrees of success! A 'fun' run over at Bewl 15 was rather harder work than I envisaged, I didn't taper, but carried on with my key sessions and just cutting the volume back on my easier runs. 8 x 800 on 2.40 is an impressive session, but you are still going to feel that 3 days later! It was a hot day and I got round, not pretty, but a good hard run out. The week after I joined the LDWA for a '26' mile route. I love these events, they are low key, cheap, great check points and with the added challenge of reading route descriptions. It was another blisteringly hot day and with over 4,400ft of climbing in the first 21 miles a hard route. 28 miles in total, with two fab new friends to boot who we chatted and laughed all the way round and I enjoyed beasting them up the hills...got to love running.
Then last weekend the highlight of my running post baby my villages very own ultra. Amazingly within spitting distance of my house are a number of fellow ultra runners, one of which suggested we found a mutually suitably weekend, a route map, a bag (truck) of snacks and headed off to run to the sea.
I was game as though I don't often do 48 miles as a training run, i knew i had a week of enforced rest after, so now was as good as ever to spend some time on my feet. I also knew this was a social run so would give me lots of experience of not sitting down all day (like I need that), eating on the move and just enjoying running for the sake of it rather than my session satisfaction being constantly dictated by my garmin. I also thought it was really cool to be able to say 'Oh yes, we went to the sea yesterday...quite a long way' at playgroup on Monday morning.
Brandon aka Team Leader rallied the troops and we set off at 7am, with various people joining in, dropping out along the way. The first part took us along favoured club routes and we then headed towards Ashdown Forest and the Pooh Bear Tree!
It was quite hilly over the first 20 miles or so and some of us cracked on up the climbs and others took their time. There was no pressure to do either and it was so lovely and refreshing to run just for the joy of running and with a group of such easy going runners. Part of this was down to Team Leader who is a very experienced long distance runner, but has bags of patience and time for those still new to the sport. He was great company over the latter stage of the day when we both started to get weary and my chaffing moans became a permanent feature of our conversation!
Lunchtime came and went saying good bye to all our company, some had other things to do and some wanted to slow down a little. What was great was everyone wanted to go further and many keen to do it again next year and make it the whole way. Its amazing how a personal challenge sparks people enthusiasm, no need for expensive entry fees and promises of medals and prizes, but just an adventure with buddies. There is not enough of this in the world!
Team Leader and I cracked on for the next couple of hours through what was probably the easiest running of the day, but the most map intensive, but just when we thought we might need a head torch the South Downs appeared on the horizon and along with it Sue and Chris who had offered to run the last 8 miles with us and very kindly let us sit on their chairs at the beach hut! It was great to meet some 'fresh legs' and to find out the cricket and tour news! We ran the most beautiful section of the route under blistering sun and along some of the Beachy Head Marathon route. I ran hard up the hills knowing that if I could do that post 45 miles on the day in October there is no excuses!
We were very well looked after at the finish and were 'forced' to eat fish and chips, flapjacks, tea and recline on sunbeds. It was such an enjoyable day and so nice to have a complete day 'off' from the kids. My adventures these days tend to be the soft play and sticks in the stream variety so I really enjoyed the satisfaction of another personal challenge. No medal, no time, no record, just running with friends, just how I like it.
Then last weekend the highlight of my running post baby my villages very own ultra. Amazingly within spitting distance of my house are a number of fellow ultra runners, one of which suggested we found a mutually suitably weekend, a route map, a bag (truck) of snacks and headed off to run to the sea.
 |
| The 'Fish and Chip' ultra crew |
 |
 |
| No sign of Tigger |
 |
| To the horizon! |
It was quite hilly over the first 20 miles or so and some of us cracked on up the climbs and others took their time. There was no pressure to do either and it was so lovely and refreshing to run just for the joy of running and with a group of such easy going runners. Part of this was down to Team Leader who is a very experienced long distance runner, but has bags of patience and time for those still new to the sport. He was great company over the latter stage of the day when we both started to get weary and my chaffing moans became a permanent feature of our conversation! |
| don't leave us! |
Team Leader and I cracked on for the next couple of hours through what was probably the easiest running of the day, but the most map intensive, but just when we thought we might need a head torch the South Downs appeared on the horizon and along with it Sue and Chris who had offered to run the last 8 miles with us and very kindly let us sit on their chairs at the beach hut! It was great to meet some 'fresh legs' and to find out the cricket and tour news! We ran the most beautiful section of the route under blistering sun and along some of the Beachy Head Marathon route. I ran hard up the hills knowing that if I could do that post 45 miles on the day in October there is no excuses!
And then Bliss! The sea appeared and we were almost there..well not quite we still had 5 miles to go, but you cant complain when running next to blue seas, so I pushed on and enjoyed the view and satisfaction of such a great day out.
 |
| Team Leader and I, note awkard stance due to chaffing...Fearless Team Leader as ever, fresh and ready for anything |
 |
| Me rocking the beach hut look.. |
Tuesday, 18 June 2013
No Junk in the Trunk
Sitting down to write this blog is almost impossible, actually opening my laptop takes such an effort and when I finally sit down at night the only things I have any energy for is the TV remote and the odd grunt for tea to my husband.The kids are now 1 and 2 and keeping me busy from dawn to dusk. Both my kids and I have two gears in life; 5 and reverse. From about 5.30am its go, go, go as breakfast, milk and lets play garages are shouted in no particular order till 7pm when kids bedroom doors are shut and I handover parental duties to husband, sprinting out of the door to do my run session. The effort this sometimes takes is much harder than the actual run. I am absolutely shattered from a day of kids, cooking, cleaning, tantrums, the endless patience and normally have between 6-10 miles to cover before I can feed myself and collapse on the sofa. However its sitting on our door step, putting on my trainers, feeling weak when I remind myself- this is frigging hard, you don't want to go, you want to lie on the floor and rock back and forth; this is what makes you strong, this is how you are going to achieve your dreams, get your fat butt out the door and start moving! I always, always feel better and am positive I am a 100% better mum for being fit and healthy.
So I have now binned these long long runs for a while and am now spending the next few months on quality runs. I love a good smashfest/darvada breathing session (one nice volunteer at an aid station this weekend commented on how she had my drink ready as she could hear me coming!) and am enjoying 2-3 weekly track, tempo or hill runs. I am understanding this aren't necessarily going to make me that much faster, but they are going to make me stronger. I know I can run a really decent 30 miles its the next part that I am now concentrating on and funnily enough by running shorter and harder I know the strength both mentally and physically will come.
 |
| The thighs in action! |
What a pair of role models, its great to meet people so passionate about their sport and so willing to give up their time to share. Robbie is all about making ultras easy and he talked about how much hill running he does in everyday training and how....well I wont tell you anymore of his secrets, you'll have to attend the next session and find out for yourself!
 |
| Ill take the lighter one! |
It feels so good to be into the swing of life once more and with the prospect of a small part time job and kids getting slightly easier life is happy and running whatever the speed is great.
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
Sometimes it takes more than one journey to reach your goal
My blog has been neglected somewhat of late. I have written a number of posts, but never published them as on re- reading they sounded so depressing and boring I couldnt inflict that on my huge readership! In short they went......I am tired, will this baby ever sleep, I am running a long way this weekend, will this baby every stop feeding, I am tired and basically repeat. However I feel I have something slightly more interesting to write about and as baby no2's first birthday is approaching I finally feel I am ready to open up my laptop and reembrace life.
We have had a busy year both running and life wise, moving house, out of London to a village chosen randomly on a map becuase it had a nice cafe and walkable station in. Seemed a crazy idea, however it has proven to be a real success.I am so happy to be in our home, with a garden and surrounded by incredible coutrnyside. There is fabulous running club in the village which I have been welcomed into and now have a ready made bunch of running buddies, plus races every week on my doorstep and lots of local knowledge of good routes and ultra runs.
I had initally entered a couple of 50 milers and 100 mile runs this year, but I had underestimated how much energy I would need to look after two children under two, with one waking sometimes up to five times a night wanting feeding. I wont lie it very nearly broke my spirit a number of times, endless, just as your head hits the pillow wake ups, baby only settling with mum plus trying to be lively and entertaining to the toddler and run 60+miles a week.
I withdrew from the 100 mile races as I just couldnt see how I would manage to fit in anymore training in and whether I would ever manage a night away from the baby. So, perhaps foolishly in some cases I have trawled around the south racing a number of ultras, marathons and 10kms.
I completed the country to capital 45 mile just 'jogging' as a test run to see how I went and perhaps this was a little false knowledge as three weeks later I attempted to race the Thames trot 50 and blew up spectacularly at 35 miles (it was diverted to roads and three weeks between these two ultras was too close for my post natal, weak, flabby body...we live and learn and I just like to make my mistakes after 5 hrs of running). Not to be deterred a few weeks later I had a lovely long 33 mile run around Leatherhead with some members of the LDWA (Long Distance Walkers Association) who gave me lots of tips and encouragement and I felt slightly more convinced that I had a future in ultra running. Next up in March was the Steyning Stinger marathon which is up and over the South Downs four times....hard work, blew up on the last hill, but pleased with 1st place and a 3.35 considering I walked a lot in the last 5 miles. Another LDWA event at the end of March the 'Sevenoaks Circular' which was 33 miles in the freezing cold, knee deep mud and bitter wind, but the checkpoints stuffed with cakes and flapjacks kept me going and I was pleased to come in 1st especially having followed a route description all the way. A little trail 10km for my club in April blew out a few cobwebs and I finished 2nd lady in just over 38mins which wasnt too shabby considering I do very little speed work.
But the elusive 50 miles that I really wanted to do was still haunting me....when I got a last minute entry to the South Down Way 50. I convinced husband this was a good idea, he could drop me off, I could even get the train home, no one would notice I was gone for the day....at the start James of the amazing Centurion Running warned the weather was closing in, it will be fine I thought I can take a bit or rain! 25 miles in I was a shivering, cold, wet rag of a woman. The rain and wind were so strong I couldn t even see my hand in front of my face. I had got cold and instead of getting my coat on and prepping food etc before the weather came in I carried on, so by the time it started raining everything was so wet and I was so cold I couldnt even do my coat up. I lost mental focus completely, stopped eating properly and allowed the monkey to take a good hold of chain and rattle and rattle it till I was convinced I couldnt finish. Having dropped off the downs at mile 33, well in the lead and still running ok I called Bryn and wept down the phone; I was hating this, why was I doing this, I was tired really more mentally than physically, I was scared of hurting myself and getting hyperthermic on the downs with noone to help with the kids. A wonderful marshall chatted to me and found husband. He gave me a bit of advice I will never forget...I got in the car huddled under towels and sulked for 24hrs In someways this was the best crashing mistake I could have made. Husband and I chatted through what I had being trying to do, too much, with too little rest, not enough preparation both physcially, but more importantly mentally. He banned me from doing anymore ultras till 1) the baby was sleeping 2) we focused on just one or two races with someone to look after the kids 3) I got some proper rest and training in.
It has been a huge shock to me how much I have changed mentally as an athlete since having kids. Most of my athletic talent has always been the ability to hurt myself for prolonged periods...medical tents were there to be used in my opinion, now finish lines are not for lying down, but where the kids are reunited with their mum, they want attention, they want to tell me about the massive poo in the bush they have just done and can we go to the swings noooooow! However I still have this burning desire to use this athletic ability, I want to win races, break records and be the best I can be. Its part of who I am and what I want my kids to believe in as they grow up.
I had entered the Three Forts Challenge last weekend a few months ago, I was nervous to mention it to husband due to my recent escapades, but with no other race entries till October I was keen to have another crack over those South Downs and bury a few demons...it was only 27miles, just a short run really! He agreed to let me do it on the understanding I 'enjoyed' it and didnt run myself into the ground (ha ha there was 3450ft of climbing!).
The day was hot, over much of the SDW 50 a few weeks before and I ran because I love to run. I ran because its what I do, its what I am good at. Its where there is no one but me to answer to, no where to hide , no whinging kids, no meals to cook, no tears, but mine to wipe. Up in the hills is when I feel like the old me; the athlete, the competitor. My body moving like it used to move and my breathing strong, but controlled. It was a great course and I was pleased to run much of it just behind my new ultra buddy Luke Ashton who I seem to bump into at every race! I concentrated on better feeding, running strong down the hills and staying mentally positive throughout. I ran strong, but didnt push myself over the edge, this wasnt the time or place. I was rewarded with two very large blisters, a first place and course record.
Its taken me almost a year to finally feel a peace with the athlete I am now and what I can do in the future. I have survived having two children, I have survived sleep deprivation, I have fed them both till I have nothing left to give, I have watched as my husband and I have learnt how to be parents and how our lives must now mould to fit our children. I finally feel I can use this to draw on and let them be my future, I dont need to just be their mother, I can be someone they can be proud of and aspire to be like. I have some exciting ideas for one more big race this year and then a proper crack at a couple of ultras next year. I am proud of what I have achieved so far this year, both the races I have won, but also the ones I have struggled in. No one, as much as I hate to admit to myself, is perfect and learning to cope with these imperfections is how we become stronger. My family have taught me that they love me whatever and I couldnt be prouder of the boys my babies are growing into or the job my husband does as a father. Now to make them proud of me..both up in the hills and down at home as mum.
We have had a busy year both running and life wise, moving house, out of London to a village chosen randomly on a map becuase it had a nice cafe and walkable station in. Seemed a crazy idea, however it has proven to be a real success.I am so happy to be in our home, with a garden and surrounded by incredible coutrnyside. There is fabulous running club in the village which I have been welcomed into and now have a ready made bunch of running buddies, plus races every week on my doorstep and lots of local knowledge of good routes and ultra runs.
I had initally entered a couple of 50 milers and 100 mile runs this year, but I had underestimated how much energy I would need to look after two children under two, with one waking sometimes up to five times a night wanting feeding. I wont lie it very nearly broke my spirit a number of times, endless, just as your head hits the pillow wake ups, baby only settling with mum plus trying to be lively and entertaining to the toddler and run 60+miles a week.
I withdrew from the 100 mile races as I just couldnt see how I would manage to fit in anymore training in and whether I would ever manage a night away from the baby. So, perhaps foolishly in some cases I have trawled around the south racing a number of ultras, marathons and 10kms.
I completed the country to capital 45 mile just 'jogging' as a test run to see how I went and perhaps this was a little false knowledge as three weeks later I attempted to race the Thames trot 50 and blew up spectacularly at 35 miles (it was diverted to roads and three weeks between these two ultras was too close for my post natal, weak, flabby body...we live and learn and I just like to make my mistakes after 5 hrs of running). Not to be deterred a few weeks later I had a lovely long 33 mile run around Leatherhead with some members of the LDWA (Long Distance Walkers Association) who gave me lots of tips and encouragement and I felt slightly more convinced that I had a future in ultra running. Next up in March was the Steyning Stinger marathon which is up and over the South Downs four times....hard work, blew up on the last hill, but pleased with 1st place and a 3.35 considering I walked a lot in the last 5 miles. Another LDWA event at the end of March the 'Sevenoaks Circular' which was 33 miles in the freezing cold, knee deep mud and bitter wind, but the checkpoints stuffed with cakes and flapjacks kept me going and I was pleased to come in 1st especially having followed a route description all the way. A little trail 10km for my club in April blew out a few cobwebs and I finished 2nd lady in just over 38mins which wasnt too shabby considering I do very little speed work.
But the elusive 50 miles that I really wanted to do was still haunting me....when I got a last minute entry to the South Down Way 50. I convinced husband this was a good idea, he could drop me off, I could even get the train home, no one would notice I was gone for the day....at the start James of the amazing Centurion Running warned the weather was closing in, it will be fine I thought I can take a bit or rain! 25 miles in I was a shivering, cold, wet rag of a woman. The rain and wind were so strong I couldn t even see my hand in front of my face. I had got cold and instead of getting my coat on and prepping food etc before the weather came in I carried on, so by the time it started raining everything was so wet and I was so cold I couldnt even do my coat up. I lost mental focus completely, stopped eating properly and allowed the monkey to take a good hold of chain and rattle and rattle it till I was convinced I couldnt finish. Having dropped off the downs at mile 33, well in the lead and still running ok I called Bryn and wept down the phone; I was hating this, why was I doing this, I was tired really more mentally than physically, I was scared of hurting myself and getting hyperthermic on the downs with noone to help with the kids. A wonderful marshall chatted to me and found husband. He gave me a bit of advice I will never forget...I got in the car huddled under towels and sulked for 24hrs In someways this was the best crashing mistake I could have made. Husband and I chatted through what I had being trying to do, too much, with too little rest, not enough preparation both physcially, but more importantly mentally. He banned me from doing anymore ultras till 1) the baby was sleeping 2) we focused on just one or two races with someone to look after the kids 3) I got some proper rest and training in.
It has been a huge shock to me how much I have changed mentally as an athlete since having kids. Most of my athletic talent has always been the ability to hurt myself for prolonged periods...medical tents were there to be used in my opinion, now finish lines are not for lying down, but where the kids are reunited with their mum, they want attention, they want to tell me about the massive poo in the bush they have just done and can we go to the swings noooooow! However I still have this burning desire to use this athletic ability, I want to win races, break records and be the best I can be. Its part of who I am and what I want my kids to believe in as they grow up.
I had entered the Three Forts Challenge last weekend a few months ago, I was nervous to mention it to husband due to my recent escapades, but with no other race entries till October I was keen to have another crack over those South Downs and bury a few demons...it was only 27miles, just a short run really! He agreed to let me do it on the understanding I 'enjoyed' it and didnt run myself into the ground (ha ha there was 3450ft of climbing!).
The day was hot, over much of the SDW 50 a few weeks before and I ran because I love to run. I ran because its what I do, its what I am good at. Its where there is no one but me to answer to, no where to hide , no whinging kids, no meals to cook, no tears, but mine to wipe. Up in the hills is when I feel like the old me; the athlete, the competitor. My body moving like it used to move and my breathing strong, but controlled. It was a great course and I was pleased to run much of it just behind my new ultra buddy Luke Ashton who I seem to bump into at every race! I concentrated on better feeding, running strong down the hills and staying mentally positive throughout. I ran strong, but didnt push myself over the edge, this wasnt the time or place. I was rewarded with two very large blisters, a first place and course record.
 |
| You can just see my eldest running up the South Downs to cheer Mum on! |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)